''Hold on :: And don't let me go

[Jordyn Turner]

Chapter 1

Jordyn let out a sigh as she made her way across the grounds. Her hands gently rested by her sides and a sigh escaped her lips. Her gaze was looking straight ahead of her, just staring into space as her thoughts wandered through her head. She didn't really feel like her usual self after coming back from the funeral. She just didn't care and was upset and sad and so much more. Jordyn didn't let it show though. It was one thing about her. When it came to things like this she hated to let others see it. To see her cry and upset or hurt. It just made them feel the same way so she just stayed happy on the outside.

Shaking those thoughts from her head, she came to a stop when she got to the Whomping Willow. A tear feel down her cheek but she quickly pushed it aside before anyone came and saw. Blinking away her tears, she turned to go and take a seat under a tree not far away but stopped as she saw one of her friends walking over. Giving a small smile, she waved and said hi. For what seemed like hours they just talked about anything and everything until Jesse, her friend, brought up her parents.

"Jesse I really don't want to talk about this right now." She said in a soft tone as she looked down at the ground.

Jesse gave a small nod of her head and just sat there for a few minutes not saying anything. "I know how you feel. If I ever lost anyone I would feel terrible about it." She said as she looked at Jesse.

Jordyn couldn't help it. She just snapped at her friend when she heard those words. "You have no idea how I feel! I don't have two parents like you. They are both gone and they aren't coming back!!" Jordyn said as she shook her head and stood.

"Jordyn I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make you upset." Jesse said and stood as well. "I'm just saying I know how you feel." She said.

"How in the world could you know how I feel if you have never lost someone you care so much about!?! You can't!" Jordyn said. "It's like someone just ripped my heart out and stomped on it and so much more." She said and moved away from her friend. "I'm angry because my father left me here by myself and I have no one. I want to scream and break something. I want to cry but I can't." She said and then turned to look at her friend.

Jesse didn't seem all that upset at first but then seemed hurt at what Jordyn had said. "I'm sorry Jordyn." She said in a soft tone. "I am here for you, no matter what. Your my friend." She said and then turned and headed back towards the castle to meet up with the others.

Jordyn nodded and let out a sigh. She felt terrible about letting all her frustration about everything on her friend. She didn't run after her though, just stayed outside to be by herself. She just wanted to be outside in the fresh air and think to herself for a while. Moving over to a tree not far away, she sat down and leaned her back against it. Her gaze was out at the Whomping Willow. Just staring at it, letting herself get lost in her thoughts.

Her thoughts moved to the funeral earlier that day. It had been nice. Practically everyone her father knew was there, at least that's how it seemed. Jordyn had stayed after and took condolences from family and friends. She had just smiled and shook their hands or hugged them as she saw them. After a while, she had to go and come back here.

Jordyn then let her thoughts run back even further. Shaking the memories of the funeral from her head. Running a hand through her hair, she gently bit her lower lip and leaned back, closing her eyes.

If there was one thing Damien did expertly, it was playing to the shadows. Even his friends commented to him that he should really not appear and disappear the way he did. It was a habit and he had a hard time breaking it. Something he liked about shadows were the way they kept you hidden. They masked identities and could keep you secret from people.

The shadows were his place of choice as he watched a small fight between two girls. One of them he could identify as Jordyn Turner. He didn’t much care about the other one. She seemed to be stupid anyway. What makes people think it’s okay to tell someone they know how they feel? Unless the stupid girl had lost her parents, she wouldn’t have the slightest notion of how being hurt feels. If you’ve never lost someone you loved, you didn’t have any idea what that could feel like…what that meant.

Damien sat quiet through the whole argument, some how just on the other side of the Whomping Willow. He liked to think he and the tree were friends. He sat in the grass, covered by the darkness of night and the shadows cast off the towers of Hogwarts in the moonlight. He may have been unidentifiable by sight, but he wondered if the girl would know his voice.

“It’s almost funny, isn’t it, when you realize people have no idea what they’re talking about.” As he spoke he lazily pulled pieces of grass from the ground. He didn’t begin to think on how she’d react once she knew someone had seen the whole ordeal. It wasn’t a normal activity for Damien to feel…sympathetic towards people. The night air was putting him in a different mood. It some how made him nice. That was a leap in itself and a rare event.

More grass was pulled from the ground as he continued. “I won’t say I know how you feel. Because I don’t.” He tilted his head back and looked up at the sky. “But I know what it’s like to feel abandoned.” He didn’t say anything else for a while. The only sound entering the air from him was the sound of his breathing.

“I am sorry though. Death is a subject we often times avoid. It is- however- inevitable and has to be met.”

He stretched his arms upward and leaned back on his palms after he was done. He glanced across the space between them and observed Jordyn carefully. He wasn’t sure what he would do next or how long he’d stay. He was being compassionate for once and decided he could allow the emotion to show itself for the moment. No one else was around and she was hardly a threat, at least not in his mind. He could always deny it later if he had to.

Jordyn turned her head as the sound of someone's voice only to find Damien there. She hadn't expected anyone to be there, much less to be listening to her arguement with one of her friends. Brushing a strand of hair from her eyes as the cool breeze blew, she just sat there. She wasn't completely sure what to say. it made her feel a little better when he had said he wasn't going to say he knew how she felt. Most of her friends had told her that when she got back to school. The truth was though they couldn't possibly know what she was going through. None of her friends had lost either of their parents or both.

"Its not your fault he died." Jordyn said in a soft tone. Looking down at the ground for a moment, she then looked back at Damien. It was kind of strange seeing him being nice. Usually he just made fun of people, he being one of them. "I think what hurts the most is knowing that he's never coming back." She said after a few minutes of silence. "I'm so upset and hurt by the whole thing that I just want to hit something, scream." She added.

Turning a little, she moved so she could see him a little better. She had moved so she was laying on the ground now and let out a sigh. Her heals laid there in the grass next to her jacket. Listening to him as he continued to talk, his words rang through her head. Death was something that was inevitable and something that had to be met. It was also something she just wanted to avoid. It was hard to though. Shaking the thought from her head, she just gazed up at the night sky.

Damien pushed himself up from his position on the ground. He shook his head to the side, removing some spare hair out of his face as he continued to look at the dark sky and the light stars that speckled it. Every once in a while the limbs of the Whomping Willow would move and some of the stars were blocked out by the leaves or branches. He was silent as she talked, just looking at what was around and what was where. He observed. He was good at that. And despite the way he tried to distance himself from emoition, he was relatively good at understanding it.

“No, he’s not ever coming back.” Damien pushed himself to his feet and slowly wandered his way around the Whomping Willow. He was in a close enough range where the tree could have easily torn him to pieces, but he’d learned something early on. If you weren’t afraid of the tree, it wasn’t afraid of you. He lazily reached up as he walked and ran his fingers across one of the draping branches. The tree almost seemed to shiver for a moment. He couldn’t help a slight smile. He soon stood at Jordyn’s side. He just stood there for a few moments before laying down in the grass beside her. He thought for a second before an idea came to him. She was going to hate him…hopefully.

“Not ever. He’ll never be here again. You’ll never see him. When you go home, he won’t be standing there. Every time you get an owl, you’ll have to open it and realize it’s not his name signed at the bottom.” He was trying to push her. He wanted her to get upset; move past sadness and be truly and honestly mad. He wanted her to hit him.

She had to do it, to move on. She needed to get it all out. “He didn’t wait around for you to grow up. He moved on without you.”

Jordyn turned her head and looked over at Damian. "Stop it..." She said, feeling herself getting angry. She shook her head, trying not to listen to him but couldn't help it. His words rang through her head, repeating themselves over and over again. Finally, Jordyn couldn't take it anymore and she hit Damian. Tears falling down her face. She turned around and hit him again.

"I hate him! He left me here by myself and I hate him!" She hollared. "I can't do this on my own. I need him and he left me!" Jordyn couldn't help but hit Damian again. She was just so angry. "How could you just leave me here alone! I need you!" She felt like her heart had been broken into a million pieces. She wanted to break things and she hated him. She hated her father for leaving her and not coming back.

"How does he think I can live without him!" She screamed. Tears streamed down her face, clouding her vision as she sat there. She looked at Damian, hurt and anger in her eyes as she hit him once more.

Damien was silent as she hit him. He just let her do it. That was odd, coming from him. He was usually the first peron to push people off and fight back...or something along those lines. He was usually self-centered and self-serving. But for some reason as he lay in the grass next to Jordyn Turner he set himself aside for the first time in a long time.

He listened silently as she ranted and cried and hit him. Sometimes that was all he could hear, the sounded of her hand making contact with his chest. It was a low thump. It didn't hurt him, he wasn't easily hurt anyway, not on any level. His patience stayed and he knew it wasn't going to leave him at any time soon. He was relaxed and for some reason concerned. He'd have to work that out with himself later. He made a note of it in his head.

The last time she hit him he carefully wrapped his hand around her wrist and held it still. He looked at her evenly and slowly, his breathing remaining impeccibley steady and slow along with his voice. "Now. Do you really believe any of that?" His words came out quiet and he kept his hold on her hand.

Jordyn was about to pull her wrist away but stopped as he grabbed it and held on. Her gaze moved from his hand to his face and she just sat there. She just took a few deep breaths, her free hand wipping away some of the tears from her face. Lightly she shook her head and then spoke. Her tone soft, quiet. "No I don't." Slowly her chest moved up and down, her gaze soft now as she continued to just look at Damian.

She wasn't angry or mad at her dad. She just missed him and wished he could be there with her right that very moment. Letting her hand rest down in the grass once again, she just sat there. Her thin red lips slightly parted as she closed her eyes. When she opened them again a minute later, she felt a little more relaxed and calm. At least more than she had just a few minutes ago when she was hitting and screaming.

"I just miss him." Jordyn finally said after a long silence between the two of them. "Wish that he was here but I know that can't happen." She said in a soft tone. Brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes, she let her hand rest on her lap. There was no point though because the strand of hair just moved right back to where it had been a moment ago.